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My friend Danny always says that the Olympics is a great opportunity to reflect upon how we have grown or regressed during the past four years. Four years ago I was working for NBC during the Olympics. I was getting paid thousands of dollars to watch television. My office was the Saturday Night Live writer’s room. If I swiveled my chair around, I had a clear view of the SNL stage. If I was feeling tired, I could walk downstairs and get free coffee on the eighth floor of 30 Rock, from the Starbucks NBC had built just for the Olympics so we wouldn’t have to leave the building.

Four years later, in 2016, I am writing this, hoping you will skim your way through a 20,000 word article about literally every Olympic sport. I will probably be watching the Rio Olympics from my mother-in-law’s basement, assuming my two-year-old doesn’t force me to change the channel to Peppa Pig. Enjoy!

1. Gymnastics – Women’s Individual All-Around

I wish I could buy stock in how famous Simone Biles will be in a few weeks. Between Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, and Simone Biles, we could very realistically be watching the greatest swimmer, runner, and gymnast of all-time compete in the same Olympic Games. Sadly, this is almost certainly the final Games for Phelps (his 5th), Bolt (his 4th) and Biles (likely her only Olympics, as she would be 23 in Tokyo).

2. Track and Field – Men’s 100m

If Usain Bolt makes it to the starting line, he is winning this race. If he is not healthy enough to compete, Justin Gatlin and Yohan Blake will battle for gold. American Trayvon Bromell could sneak in for a bronze.

3. Gymnastics – Women’s Team All-Around

The American women look to repeat as gold medal winners, following up on the Fierce Five’s victory in 2012. Perennial contenders Romania shockingly did not qualify a team for the all-around. Russia and China appear to be the top threats to the U.S.

Chinese gymnast Shang Chunsong is

Athletics

Men's 4x100m relay: The British team of Chijindu Ujah, Zharnel Hughes, Richard Kilty and Nethaneel Mitchell-Blake claimed silver, their first podium finish in the event since Athens 2004, but were beaten on the finish line by Italy.

Women's 4x100m relay: The British team of Asha Philip, Imani-Lara Lansiquot, Dina Asher-Smith and Daryll Neita got off to a rocky start but recovered well to finish third, repeating their achievement from Rio five years ago.

Women's 1500m: Setting a new British record, Laura Muir ran a brilliant race to finish in the silver medal position.

Women's 400m: Jodie Williams finished in sixth place in the final, matching the personal best she had set in the semi-final.

Men's 4x400m relay: The British quartet of Cameron Chalmers, Joe Brier, Lee Thompson and Michael Ohioze could only manage sixth place in their heat and failed to qualify for the final.

Men's 5,000m Andrew Butchart finished 11th in the final with a time of 13:09.97.

Boxing

Women's middleweight: Lauren Price secured a place in Sunday's final with a 3-2 split decision over Nouchka Fontijn of the Netherlands.

Cycling

Women's madison: Laura Kenny and Katie Archibald dominated to win the event with Kenny becoming the first British woman to win golds at three different Olympics.

Men's sprint: Jack Carlin lost his semi-final 2-0 to eventual champion Harrie Lavreysen of the Netherlands, but won in the bronze medal play-off, beating ROC's Denis Dmitriev in two straight races.

Women's sprint: Katy Marchant qualified eighth fastest with a time of 10.495 seconds before beating Japan's Yuka Kobayashi and Hong Kong's Lee Wai-sze to make Saturday's 1/8 round.

Diving

Men's 10m platform: Tom Daley qualified comfortably for the semi-finals, posting two scores over 90 on his way to a fourth-pl